“I’m (truly) sorry”

Repentance in the early church

We look to the church, beginning in Acts 2, to see how early followers of Jesus understood repentance, and as we do, we can more clearly recognize it today. 

Repentance Indicating Salvation

Acts 19:18-20: “Also many of those who were now believers came confessing and divulging their practices. And a number of those who had practiced magic arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all. And they counted the value of them and found it came to fifty thousand pieces of silver. So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily.” 

Repentance willingly admits and exposes sin, turning from what was once considered god, to God alone through Christ. Repentance causes an outward shift in what we prioritize, worship, serve, or arrange our lives around, even at great cost.  Lives that are transformed like this have the power to amplify the Gospel’s message. 

Acts 20:21: “I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus.” 

Acts 26:20: “...I preached that they should repent and turn to God and demonstrate their repentance by their deeds.”

1 Thessalonians 1:9: “...you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God.”

Repentance results in Jesus taking center stage in faith and life, rather than what had previously been central (self, finances, fame, religion, sex, comfort, etc). Outward behavior does not merit salvation, but genuine repentance will be noticeable in outward actions.

Lack of Repentance

Hebrews 12:16-17: “...see that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. For you know that afterward when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.”

Emotions and tears do not always indicate a change of heart; sometimes grief results from being caught in sin or facing consequences for sin instead of from sorrow over the sin itself.

Revelation 9:20,21: “The rest of mankind who were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood—idols that cannot see or hear or walk. Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts.”

Revelation 16:9,11: “...and they cursed the name of God, who had control over these plagues, but they refused to repent and glorify him…and cursed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, but they refused to repent of what they had done.”

Blaming God for sin’s painful consequences, yet continuing to live in sin, indicates an unrepentant heart. 

Praying for Repentance

How do we even find the words to pray for an unrepentant heart? Paul, Peter, and John wrote to the early church, describing various pathways that lead to repentance, and the Spirit’s words through these authors offer us a roadmap for our prayers:

Romans 2:4: “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”

*Pray that God’s kindness will lead to repentance.

2 Corinthians 7:9: “...yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance.”

*Pray that sorrow over sin will lead to repentance.

2 Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”  

*Pray that God’s delayed judgment will lead to repentance. 

Revelation 2:5a: “Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.”

*Pray that remembering past history with the Lord will lead to repentance.

Revelation 3:19: “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.”

*Pray that God’s loving discipline will lead to repentance.

It’s likely that God led you down one of these pathways toward your own repentance, and maybe that’s the very one He’ll use in someone else’s life as you pray for it. 

Foot-long Leadership

I’m crossing the threshold of 2024 in reverence for the holy ground of one foot. Let me explain. 

I usually want the Lord to lead me in mile-long strides, reaching goals far off on the horizon in a single jump. When I look for Him to work on that scale, though, it can start to feel like God isn’t active in my life or answering prayer at all. That’s because I’ve overlooked His direction that most often comes in foot-long increments. Although He is completely capable of guiding us in leaps and bounds, the believer’s life is described as walking with God -  miles, divided into feet. 

With a shoe size of 9.5, my walking shoes measure around one foot long.  Yes, that’s the larger end of women’s shoes, but, in terms of walking, a 12-inch step is really not a lot of ground covered.  Yet following one after the next, they will eventually add up to one mile.  One after the next, there is progress.

And God’s leadership is like that. He can do exceedingly more than we ask or think, but He so often does it by dividing a mile into 5,280 feet. He takes us by the hand, and He sets a pace we can match, if we just put one foot in front of the other along with Him.  Twelve inches of faith. One foot of prayer. Twelve inches of goals. One foot of guidance.

Whatever your resolutions, may you anticipate and experience the holy ground of God’s foot-long leadership as you step into the New Year.

Current historic events

Days before the war began in Israel, the book of Esther began to pull at my heart. Little did I know how modern the threat of Jewish annihilation would feel or how visual Haman’s plot would become. Immersed in Esther, it seemed to me that the appalling violence was 2500 years in the making, fulfilling a long-delayed scheme.  

Whenever current struggles or current events converge with what I’m currently studying, I embrace God’s Word as sovereignly meeting me in that moment with necessary truth and perspective.  So, through the filter of 500 B.C., I pray with hope for this tragedy in 2023:

God of Jacob, 

When rage, drunkenness, racism, and sexism, control politics, 

I trust that you’re still on your throne.  

Esther 1:10-22; 5:9-13

You change history through those who refuse to comply. 

Give courage.

Esther 1:12; 3:2; 4:16

You alter the trajectory through insignificant “coincidences”. 

Align each moment.

Esther 6 

You elevate the underdog. 

Raise leaders.

Esther 8

You turn mourning to joy when you intervene. 

Spare the suffering.

Esther 8:16-17; 9:20-28

You preserve the legacy of the ones who stand for the welfare of humanity. 

Reverse these events.

Esther 10:3

May it be so.

“The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Psalm 46:7

The Conclusion, 1 John 5:11-21

You know the feeling when you’re not really sure how to bring everything you’ve been saying to the finish line so you can stop talking? You’ve made all the points you were hoping to make, and you find yourself in a mental scramble to reach the conclusion. For me, that attempt often sounds like mumbled phrases, disconnected from the main points, and it comes out as, “So… yeah… that’s what I’m thinking”. 

1 John ends exactly opposite of that. Instead of slowly trailing off into the sunset, it’s more like approaching a mountain summit, only to realize that as the end comes into sight, it demands greater focus. The final stretch includes the toughest hurdles. Confidence in answered prayers, sin leading to death, and avoiding idolatry are major themes, jutting out like jagged rocks at the peak of this conclusion. Let’s navigate them briefly.

Since God hears our individual prayers, we have confidence that if we’ve asked for something He has promised, like eternal life through His Son, He will give it to us (2:25; 3:23; 4:9; 5:11,12). Assurance that He answered this foundational prayer allows for certainty that God will answer other requests; doubts about God giving eternal life will break down confidence that He’ll respond to any additional prayers.  

Have I experienced uncertainty in prayer because I doubt whether God responded to my request for eternal life?

We’ve already learned in 1 John that we can pray confidently if we’re living obediently (3:21,22), and now we learn that we can pray confidently if we’re asking submissively, deferring to God’s will being done (5:14,15). There is mystery in prayer, but if our lives and requests align with God’s will, we will have what we’ve asked for if it is God’s will. Jesus’ prayer in Gethsemane is the primary example I cling to when I long for something in prayer.  Although Jesus aligned perfectly with God’s will, His request to be spared suffering the Father’s judgment against sin, was not God’s will (Matthew 26:39). Even Jesus had a desire which God didn’t grant, but that does not mean it was wrong to have that desire or that it was wrong to ask for it. He ultimately asked for the Father’s will above His own desire, and in this way, His prayer was answered. 

Have I been too afraid to pray because I’ll doubt God if my desire is not His will?

Have I been too afraid to put my desire in a secondary position to God’s will, because I imagine that my will would turn out better than His will?  

As an extension of living life in fellowship with God, we live in relationship to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Members in God’s family share a proximity like members of a body, called to be lovingly concerned for each other’s well-being and prayerfully aware of the other’s struggles. Physical sickness and spiritual wandering are both cases where believers in the church body are to come alongside in prayer (James 5:13-20). Before we get caught up in defining “sin leading to death”, we ask ourselves a bigger-picture question: 

Do I have close enough relationships that others can recognize and pray about sin in my life? 

Sin can cause two kinds of death: physical and/or spiritual. Spiritual death is a result of denying who Jesus is, and it’s evident in a lifestyle of disobedience and a perpetual lack of love (1 John 2:3, 3:14, 5:11,12,18). True believers in Christ cannot commit sin that indicates or leads to spiritual death, as taught in 1 John and elsewhere (John 10:28; Ephesians 1:13,14, 4:30; 2 Corinthians 1:22).

Physical death exists in the world because of sin’s presence in it (Romans 5:12). Scripture does include occasional cases where believers were disciplined by God for the severity of their sin through sickness or premature physical death (note the reasons for discipline in Acts 5:1-10 & 1 Corinthians 11:28-32). Not all physical suffering is because of a specific sin, but, as difficult as it may be for us to understand, sometimes this is how God corrects His child. 

Sin in our lives as believers disrupts fellowship with God and limits the power of Jesus’ life flowing through us, like pressure on a garden hose slows the supply of life for the plants. When we pray for our brother or sister whose life is hindered because of “sin not leading to death”, our desire is that their repentance would allow them to fully experience the life God offers. The kind of life God promises is abundant life in Christ (1 John 1:3,4,7,9; John 10:10), so we pray for and expect God to give what He promises.

Do I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ to experience abundant life in Him?

My prayer for you as we conclude 1 John, is that since Jesus is the true God and eternal life, you would run from whatever threatens to become a substitute god or a substitute life. As you do, may you fully experience your eternal life, filled with God’s light and His love in real life.

So… yeah… that’s what I’m thinking.

Prayers for my kids

When our kids began to reach school-age, we were living abroad. It was a country famous for polar opposites: a people of generosity and strong relationships, constantly threatened by robberies, muggings and carjackings.  They welcomed us with open arms, yet every house stood locked behind walls and bars. 

The threat was real, and when my husband was eventually car-jacked, it was merely our entrance into their reality. But the danger deepened when it came to sending our oldest to school.  He carries an epi-pen for anaphylactic food allergies, and in this foreign school, his teachers had never seen an epi-pen before. 

My anxiety in this context surfaced rapidly, and “unsafe” was my mantra.  Nothing was safe - not the streets, our neighborhood, the people, their school, the food.  A long commentary on this season in my life could be written, but what I hope can be helpful for this moment are the prayers I learned to pray then and still pray now regarding our kids.  

These are cries that first came from a heart overwhelmed with panic, just trying to make it through the hours; they’re not prayers from a heart that had it all figured out. Every day back then, as I sent my oldest off to school, it was an act of faith, and every day he came home, it was a gift. 

And we’re reminded, dear parent, family member, and care-giver, that it still is. If you find yourself wrapped up in inescapable anxiety over your kids, may one of these simple prayers resonate with you.

A prayer for when I’m with my children: 

Help me love them fully in the moment, because it’s really all I have.

A prayer for when I’m not with my children:

Help me release control, because I have actually never had it.

A prayer for when I sense my limitations:

Help me remember that I am just mom; only You are God. Your love, understanding, and control exceed mine.

A prayer for perspective:

Stir up a longing in me for that place where tragedy never strikes.  Even so, come, Lord Jesus.